If It Wasn't for Jesus...

If it wasn't for Jesus... that's a favorite statement of mine nowadays. I think my answer is, "If it wasn't for Jesus, I would have no reason left to live." He's my only purpose. In my last post, I wrote something to the effect of, "I wonder how unbelievers live their lives without Jesus."
Boy, if I could have only known the affirmation of these thoughts of the necessity of Christ that was coming my way...
Life has been absolute misery this week. It's quite possibly been the saddest week of my life; the saddest that this heart has ever been. I'm very upset and torn because of how I have hurt a certain person in my life, and I'm afraid that the damage may prove irrepairable. I don't want to eat, I only do it to fill time. It's the same way for sleeping. I just feel terrible about what I've done, and I want this to be fixed, but it's not that easy. I don't have a lot of happiness anymore.
But no matter my current situation, my relationship with Jesus is constant.
That means constant peace. Constant joy. Constant comfort. Constant love. I haven't spent an extreme amount of time in focused prayer, but I have opened my heart more completely to Jesus at all times, and I know that He hears my heart, regardless of what words I try and form for Him to hear. He knows all things. He knows my suffering. And even though things are tough, my God wraps me in His arms every night as I go to sleep. He holds my hand as I amble through the day. My demeanor is sad, but He still gives me hope. Hope that no matter the outcome of all of these things in my life, the end result is paradise.
"You say, 'I know that this will hurt. But if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear, remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.'"