My God is so big...

Yesterday was my birthday; but, for the most part, it was not a "happy" one.
I was still in a lot of pain from the weekend. I mean a lot of pain. I had to apologize to my mom for how ridiculous I was acting. But my back and muscles hurt so badly. I didn't think I was going to be able to go and eat with them. I missed prayer group. I didn't know if I would get to see Brigitte either. But all I could think about at the time was the pain.
I turned the shower on steaming hot and that numbed it for a while, but then when I got out, it was worse all over again. I tried to calm down for a while, but it got to hurting worse than anything (I sound like a wimp, I know, but I really don't understand what was wrong with me; I've just never ached like that before). So I got back in the shower to numb it all over again. I had been crying out to God, "Please help me!" But in the shower, I calmed down, I got down on my knees, and I began to pray.
But I want to talk about some things that came to mind before I prayed. Namely, satan came in and began to bargain for my release from suffering. He told me to remember that he also has a lot of power. He told me that if I will cry out to him instead of to God, that he will cure me instantly. He promised that then I would be able to live the rest of the day normally. He promised a lot that sounded really good.
You know, I believe that satan probably does have the power to deliver us from suffering and dismay. But right there and then, I looked at him and then turned to God and said, "I would rather spend the rest of my life in pain and anguish and yet be in Your presence than to call out to him and live in luxury." Satan really didn't have much to offer. He seeks the temporary; God seeks the eternal. I call upon God's name and God's name alone. So that's just what I did.
The Bible teaches that, with faith in His answering, God can do miracles when we pray. I worked up the courage and faith and asked for healing. Then I slowly turned off the shower, and didn't know what to expect. The pain came back, I won't lie. It wasn't as bad as before, but it was back. But I kept on begging, "Help my unbelief;" I kept on begging, "Please, God, please." You wanna' know something? The pain never went away. But He still answered my prayer.
Here's how: Paul once prayed that "the thorn in his flesh" (whatever it may have been) be removed from him. And he petitioned the Lord three times about it. But God said, "My grace is sufficient. My power is perfected in your weakness." He healed me somewhat, but the main healing was from the strength that He gave me to endure. He taught me that my God is bigger than my pain.
What more, I am mindful of the scourging Jesus faced, and my pain could only have been a glimpse to His. But He silently endured out of love for His people. I praise God that He was strong. And I praise God because He teaches me to be strong.